Hope you’ll step on a lego while walking
People who don’t know how to walk should not be allowed to enter the streets. I’m not talking about people with a disability. I’m talking about healthy people with two legs and a working brain who just don’t seem to know how to walk properly. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who’s annoyed by this. Because if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re one of those people. In that case you should definitely keep on reading so you won’t bother other people anymore and they will stop having thoughts about you that are prison appropriate.
Let’s sketch a scenario. You’re at the mall and you need.. shampoo. You know where to be, but you entered the wrong side of the mall. It happens. So you’re thinking to yourself: should I keep on walking, or should I just leave the mall and use the other entry? You decide to keep on walking. In the end you’ll lose just as much time as when you leave the mall. WRONG.
As you’re walking towards the drugstore in the mall, a lady is walking in front of you. She’s walking slowly, which already annoys you, but okay. You’ll just wait until you get the chance to walk past her. IF you get the chance. (I think you can already tell how irritated I am by now. And this is just a sketch. Imagine how I feel in real life)
Finally, after five minutes you see a way to walk past her. As you’re speeding up the tempo, she decides to walk in your way. Yes, again. So you can’t walk past her. You’re starting to get annoyed and you just tap the lady on her shoulder and ask if you can pass. This is the moment when she gives you the look of evil. Yes, she does. The nerve, huh? You decide not to make a big deal out of it, because you’re happy you can pass her.
So you continue walking towards the drugstore for your shampoo. And, believe it or not, there’s another obstacle. This is fun to read, isn’t it? This time it’s a couple and they’re holding each other’s hands. First you think: ah, how cute that they’re in love. But then you remember you need to get your shampoo and they’re blocking the way. The “ahhh” transforms into “argh!!”. And again, they don’t know how to walk. First they walk slowly. Then they start giving you hope by speeding up the tempo. But then all of a sudden the lady stops. You almost bump into her. And as if that isn’t bad enough, she starts talking to some old friend she hasn’t seen in ages and they’re blocking the way. Yes, they are. This time, with your previous experience, you decide not to wait any longer and tap her on the shoulder. “Excuse me lady, can I pass through, please?”, you ask with a friendly smile. Again, the filthy look, but she gets out of the way.
By now you’re very annoyed and you’re thinking about buying the shampoo another time. But remember, soldier, you’ve come a long way and the next time you just need to start over again. With this in mind you keep on walking. This story wouldn’t be fun with just two examples, would it? So we’re adding another scenario. This time there’s a woman with a baby buggy and another child walking next to her. This is the ultimate challenge, soldier. Are you able to pass them without losing temper? Let’s find out.
So the mommy, the buggy and the little kid. You know what, I’m so very irritated, that I’m not even going there. You get the point: people don’t know how to walk and they’re rude.
BUT! I have found the solution for this.
Behold. The perfect solution for people who don’t know how to walk in public areas. I’ve thought about this many times, but when I actually saw a relevant picture on the internet, my life brightened up a little. Now, let’s replace “New Yorkers” with “Hurrying/Normal people” and “Tourists” with “dumbasses who don’t know how to walk”. Any dumbasses crossing the border will get a fine of twohundred bucks. Cash. And they need to adopt a chicken or whichever farm animal makes a lot of sound. That’ll teach them.
Et voilà, our problems are solved. Writing this blog post was my contribution to the solution of this problem. Now, who’s going to write a letter to the government?